and at the end of the day...

Today was a good day. I was tired and could barely stand up for a lot of it, but it was a day of weakness and I had to depend on God so much today and it was SO GOOD. On my hour I got a chance to read some of J Pipe's book and this is the part that impacted me most:

"The natural person, the person defined by flesh, but not yet changed by Christ, is so hostile in mind to God's glorious authority (not submitting to His law) that he cannot delight in God or rejoice in His ways. He can do many religious and moral things, but his heart is far from God (Matt 15:8), and he cannot make himself stop seeing the greatness and authority of God as undesirable."

Of course, that is talking about non-Christians, so I'm not there anymore, but the fight to see is still there (and I am only able to engage in the fight because Jesus is doing His Work in me)...yeah, Piper had also talked earlier about how the fight for joy is mainly a fight to see the glory of Christ, and man did that get me. I was struggling so hard to see it, and mostly I was struggling by my own power, and I failed A LOT. I became tired and didn't even want to keep going, I was tired of fighting. It's so easy to slip back into legalism mode. But that's why God made our relationships with the body of Christ so important. Community. God did not create us to be lone Christians. Thank YOU.

But I should do what's good for my body and get some sleep (one hour last night). I have to work again tomorrow.

Fairest Lord Jesus, ruler of all nature
O Thou of God and Thou of man
Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor
Thou my soul's glory, joy, and crown