day 3

Day 3 at home, that is. You realize my postings will probably diminish after I get back into the school routine. It usually happens that way. Come to think of it, many of my blogs have begun around the "going home" time. Funny.

Well, today was another day of shopping--not so much the biggest fan, but that does not mean I'm ungrateful. I don't get how my mom does it. Maybe that's her way of showig love? I've said that before. Maybe she feels guilty. I'm not quite sure. But yesterday, I did manage to dress my sister in Gap clothes...did I mention that already? I'm too lazy to look. But I felt like quite the sales girl...I feel like I should get a retail gold star. Oh dear, I'm becoming a slave to capitalism. It's time to fight the good fight. Some more.

By the way, I love Scrabble. We played that last night, and it was so fun. Then tonight, with some of my high school friends, I saw the tail end of Dodgeball and then Gladiator. Not so much a fan of Dodgeball. People said it was funny, and it was, until the end when they had to mess it up with a lesbian reference/display and some very foul language. Not so much a fan. Gladiator, then, was good. Although it made me grimace quite a bit and it reminded me of how American culture is on the fast road towards Roman culture. Don't believe me? Ok, tell me that in 30 years.

And I was in a cranky mood today. It started out trying to fill my contact lense prescription and then went downhill. Then I started thinking about my conversation with my dad again. And how since then I've spent less than 5 minutes with him. He leaves for Florida tomorrow too. I'm a bad daughter.

Home is fairly heartbreaking. I'd rather return all the new clothes I got. I'd rather just talk with my family. But we don't talk so much, because it hurts too much. But that's what I really want to do...I want to talk with my family for real, I want to speak truth, I want healing. And the death toll in Indonesia is rising. A broken family seems so little in comparison. And this reminds me of how desperately I, and the world, need Christ. And here Hebrews 12:1-4 comes to mind: "1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." I am in danger of growing weary, as much of me has already. But this is what Christ died for. This is why He called me.
Surrender. Surrender seems to be the key verb here. I know it's not mentioned in these verses, but it's in my heart.