...

all I can really think to say, beyond the comment that I really like snow, is that I just want to GO, as Laura said yesterday.

I have to choose between two ministries, and to what capacity this choice will affect my involvement in either (or both) is at this point beyond my knowledge. But I desire to learn more and grow more, and mostly to be challenged more. But Laura brought up a good point on not overlooking the relationships and leadership I have established within Navigators. And then, there are the motives of my heart. Does my frustration with Navigators have more to do with my own pride? I need to make a decision on this. Mostly I need to stop talking and start listening to what God has to say.

On another topic, I came across some verses that really spoke to my heart, verses that I've needed and am now in the process of memorizing, because I desire to overcome the sins that God has brought to light at this point in my life.

"Who can discern His errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep Your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me,
then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:12-14

And because of a conversation I had with a friend yesterday I was reminded at the transformation that Christ made in my heart. It was funny, because I wouldn't even have really thought about it if he hadn't said anything about how the person I was, how I described myself, was so different from the person I am now. And it's true, I'm not who I was when I first followed Christ, and it's all due to Him that I am who I am today. If I weren't a Christian, I'd be living the same today as I was in high school. I can remember the changes too, and they were painful. I didn't want to let go of my sins. I wanted to hold on. I wasn't willing to trust Christ to fill the emptiness I was using those things to fill. I was so weak in my desire to follow Christ that all I could even do was ask God to rip the sins out of my hand Himself because I just couldn't do it. And I remember the joy and the excitement of growing in Him amidst the pain of having something like that taken from your life. I'm thinking about this, because I think I'm in a similar spot in my life right now, and I'm hesitating and I don't even know why. God made me new, and He promises to keep doing so all the way up until I get to heaven, and then everything will be removed that inhibits the joy of Christ.

There's still so much to think about, but I have hope in knowing that I'm closer to a decision.