Grace

I just got back from hanging out with two of the most important women in my life, Carmela and Hillary. Carmela discipled me last year and has become one of my closest friends, Hillary was my roommate and I got to share in the joy of seeing her come to Christ last year. Jesus has made them both amazing. I realized that hanging out with them is good because I can cry and not feel stupid, I can share my struggles and mull over questions and doubts and fears with them. They are friends with whom I can share the burden. And I can laugh and have fun and be silly without feeling like a dork. They're my sisters.

The past couple of days I have been passionate about my desire to throw off every sin that entangles to run the race set before me. I want to live radically for Jesus Christ. He is everything, and I say that so often but I can't say it enough. If you take Jesus from your perspective of who I am, you've got nothing left. Maybe you've got a girl who may be kind of nice to look at sometimes. But Christ is my purpose, my means AND my end. When my soul is downcast, His Holy Spirit lifts me up. He has always provided everything. No argument, no logic is big enough or smart enough to argue Him out of existence. He did exist in the world. He does today. He's real. He is worthy of my life and I'm going to follow Him. My end is not to know the Bible. The Bible, which is absolutely important, is still just a means of knowing Christ. The whole entire thing, Old and New Testament, point to Jesus Christ. My end is not to be a "good" person. There is no good aside from Jesus Christ. There is no one righteous aside from God. And I'm sick of allowing myself to be pacified for even a moment into thinking that I am good, that I am righteous, that I can be satisfied by the temporal, abbreviated pleasures this world has to offer me. NO, I will not be deceived, because I cling to Jesus; He keeps me fully by His mercy and love, and so I am His, I will live and die by His command. Because He loves me. He loves me. He is my Father, the One who will never leave me or forsake me, the One who keeps His word and opens my eyes to seeing the glory of a life lived solely for Him. He has wooed me and I've fallen head over heels for this Savior. He chose me when I wouldn't even fully recognize my own sinfulness. He convicted me, but never condemned. How can I live life for my own pleasure after that? God's purposes ARE my desires, my pleasure, my joy. NOT food, NOT a husband, NOT being skinny, NOT having new things or money or good health or lots of friends. I don't want to live for myself. I don't want the American dream. It's not good enough!! I want eternal glory and joy in Christ. Am I missing out on life by living this way? By giving up these things that pass away like the grass?? NO, I am living life abundantly, satisfied in the neverending Jesus, the Jesus who keeps showing me His mercies, new every morning.

Seek Jesus. He calls to everyone, if they'll just listen and respond.