Mom and midterms

Well, instead of studying for my midterm on Thursday I'm going to write. My mom is here this week, she got in on Monday and is leaving Thursday morning. I only got to see her last night and tonight, because I am working all day tomorrow. Big SAD. I cried when she left my house tonight...I always do that when she leaves. I miss her, and I am sad for her. I am amazed at what God is doing in her heart, and I pray always that He will heal her bitterness. Talking with her made me think of Piper's latest few sermons. They were on the wrath of God, and there was one particular point that makes me think of our family situation. He talked about our righteous anger when sins have been done against us, but how, because He is the Judge, we can be free from the anger and bitterness that so often arises when we have been wronged, and therefore forgive. Sins are always reconciled and punished, there is no sin anywhere ever that will not go unpunished and there are two ways this happens. If a person does not claim Jesus as their Savior, the person will ultimately take his own punishment which is (scary) eternal suffering in Hell. But if we do have Christ, all our sin has been paid for, and Jesus is the One who paid. He received the just punishment I deserve. I deserve it. I deserve eternal damnation and suffering and separation from my God. It's an unfair deal. I get the opposite. He is love. He is mercy. And He is just. I'm starting to really realize, in my heart not just my head, that we cannot understand the loving kindness of God until we understand His perfect sense of Justice, until we understand that we do deserve wrath.

So I'm praying for healing and forgiveness in my mom's heart. She sees a lot more bad things than I do, working in the corporate world with benefits and living in our home. I don't know that I would have the strength to handle it. I have so much respect for her. I pray that she would get rest, that God would provide a couple of really solid friends who will be there for her, both encouraging her and keeping her accountable. And mostly I pray that she would continue to grow in Joy. God is good.


I also saw someone I knew on the bus today. I looked up from doing my crossword, and he was sitting in front of me. There was that heart squeezed feeling again. And since he was sitting in front of me, I know he probably saw me...looking a little foolish, I'm sure, sitting hunched over my crossword. I wonder what went through his head. There's that girl who used to be my friend? I hate her? I miss her? I'm glad he didn't say anything. I'm glad he probably doesn't know I saw him. Well, once I saw him, I prayed for him, and then I got off the bus and walked home. ...maybe.
God is good.

...for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all...