I want to pray more, and I want to be a better prayer. This is a long-term goal. Because I don't think it's going to happen overnight, obviously...it takes time to really grow in stuff like this.

I know one thing I need to do is listen...not control. Sometimes I think I put up a wall when it comes to listening to God. Again with the mistrust. Geez. It's gotta end somewhere. Heaven. Can't wait for that day.

So, I experienced a wide range of emotions today, and I'm going to try to list them off in order, but without explanation:

excitement
warm-ish, happy thing...not sure how to describe it, really
conviction
frustration
boredom
conviction
anticipation
disappointment
conviction
anger
very happy
annoyance
embarrassment
anger
sadness
relief
excitedness
pensiveness
nervous...

this list shows a couple of things:
1) I over-analyzed myself today
2) there's apparently a lot going on
3) maybe I'm bi-polar? I don't really think that, because most of these emotions weren't that extreme. Lots of girls have mood swings.

Needless to say, I'm glad today is over, I hope tomorrow will be fresh (with new mercy), and now I'm ending this post that I'm sure makes no sense to anyone but me (or perhaps those involved in any of the aforementioned emotions, but that chance is slim to none).